Alone in the abyss

Can a heart beat with another heart, and yet never know what they are beating for. Lost in the world that has become unknown to me once more, I cannot see whether I am walking into the light or into the darkness.

Am I to blame?

Have I lost everything?

I am riddled with questions of what could, has, and is happening in my mind. The phantoms haunting me in the dreary solitude of my prison. To love is a concept that only two can truly know, but may have left my grasp before I could reach for it.

All I can do is wait for the answer to come to me, if it will come to me. Until that time, I will be in my lonely prison of monotony contemplating all of the possibilities of why I am lost.

The Logic of Questions

When thinking about the events in my life, I begin to wonder whether things are worth the effort and energy to accomplish. One first must assess whether the events are worthy of your time at all, if it is not worth your time then you must drop that event immediately.

In certain events, one must think about the possibility of growth and change when calculating the worth of the event. The more the possibility of growth that is perceived, I would then in turn place more effort into the event in order for it to continue to grow and vice versa.

As I sit here thinking about my life, I draw once more into question about what I want and what I need to leave behind before it can do harm to me. Soon, I will once more make a decision that will send me from the path of who I was to the path of who I will become.

Only time will tell what will be my correct path.

LoSt In CoFuSiOn

Solitude is a blessed curse to me in my time of pessimistic light. I see things, hear things, and know things that are natural of this world and yet I am powerless to control them. The heart is the key to my darkness woes, as I strive to understand what lays ahead of me.

Is there such a thing as happiness?

If so, why must I always endure the opposite of that warming grace?

My feelings are not, yet not declared. But, I know that nothing will come for me on this lonely road. For Karma is my double-edged sword, I am cut by my deepening yearning for the love of a heart unconditionally.

Love...............Hate....................They are the same only to me.

I cross no more the path of hope, because I am lost in the dust of my own forsaken confusion.

Time

I begin to wonder why things move in the motion of existence. A great thinker once said "I think therefore I am". But what if, what if the world around us is nothing more than a dream. All the while, time creates a motion like a tidal wave. Moving us faster and faster towards our end. Making some arrive ashore to meet their destiny and others to capsize underneath its mighty waves.

A year goes by in the conundrum of life. I sit here wondering these things once more as the wave of time gushes forth to seize me. As I see my end come near, I begin to laugh as though my life was just a series of jokes. How benign I was, ignorance was my shield for so long. Now, I am just another victim of time.

Will I sail towards my fated path, or will I drown in my darkness?