Why?

Why is it that when I do not feel anything for a person, everyone thinks that I am not trying at it? It has become royally frustrating. I do not have any feelings for this girl who happens to like me, and I think that she is nice. But, we are not really compatable.

I am being told that I am being picky. I do not think that I am. I just do not want to lead her on into believing that something more can come from us hanging out.

It just causes my head to want to explode trying to deal with people and this situation.

Oiy Vay!

Well, I figured that I needed to make a posting since I haven't done anything with my blog in forever. So, here goes.

I decided that my little life of solitude needed to be freshened up. You are probably wondering how could the greatest thing since sliced bread could do to improve things. I know, I know. I thought the same thing. Well, I want to find myself a girlfriend.

So, I decided to give one the dating websites a try. I am tired of being by myself. I need to spread that affection around. So far, I have winked at a lot of people. Only a handful have winked back if you know what I mean.

Well, one of the potentials was very interesting. She ridiculed me on the fact that I am interesting in mythology and want my Ph.D in that particular field. She was know hot shot herself. She is working on a degree in sociolinguistics, but doesn't know what to do with it. Rich huh? I know what I want ot do with my life, so people shouldn't judge lest ye be judged.

Anyways, my pillow is calling me to hit the hay.

After Thought

I have thinking about it for the past couple of days, and have come to the decision that I am going to try to avoid calling people unless it is something that is actually important.

I realize that everyone has their own life to live, and do not need someone who is completely lacking one disrupting things.

Now, this doesn't mean that I will stop talking to people. It just means that I am going to stop bothering people.

This decision comes from the feeling that I am becoming more of an annoyance than anything else. ANd, I know that people will say otherwise out of politeness, but the fact of the matter remains.

Everyone needs their space, and that is what they are going to get.

It is not like it will really hurt me. I don't have any kind of real social life anyways.

DUH!

Your Score: Pure Nerd

56 % Nerd, 39% Geek, 21% Dork

For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd.

The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful.

Congratulations!


Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Professional Wrestling

Love & Sexuality

America/Politics

Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Saving the Day!

Can someone explain to me why I am always called upon to fill in?

Of course, the worst part is that I always give in and help.

It is hard to figure out why things are the way they are in this matter. I guess I have some sort of hero complex buried within me. Now, all I need is a villian to subdue that hero complex. It really isn't a problem right now, but when school starts back up I am going to want to keep my free time to myself.

I know, I know it sounds selfish.

Odds are, I am going to be working 32 hours a week at the store (depending on what is going on with the management position at the store). I will also be stuck teaching for another school year. This means that I will only get one day off a week. Which is really going to suck. So that would be roughly me working about 72 hours a week.

So, what little free time I get in my one day off is not going to be taken away for any reason. Of course, I hope that things will work out to where we have a total of four keyholders in the store. This will ensure that I will not be called on my day off.

I just wish I could just work one job in order to actually find a social life. Mine is currently dead. Now, I know that you are thinking that it is just on life support, but it is dead.

DEAD! DEAD! DEAD!

Ugh! Existence sucks.

How old does one have to be in order to act like an adult?

Well, I am back by popular demand. The title to this particular entry has to deal with a certain someone at the bookstore who is causing all sorts of hell at the moment.

Let's call her Melissa.

Well, I found out today that the reason why Melissa has been acting so crabby around Lynn and I (Lynn being the acting manager/friend) is because she felt that we stabbed her in the back. The reason she feels this way is because both Lynn and I had applied for the position of store manager along with her. But apparently, Melissa feels that how can someone back a person up for applying for a position if they are going after it themselves.

Of course, I would like the opportunity to actually work one job for a little while. Who knows, it might be a good thing. But, I pushed for Lynn to apply because I know that she would do better than I at being the store manager. I am being supportive and ambitious at the same time. It is called multi-tasking in my book.

But, let me get this train back on track.

Melissa apparently has been spending her shift today insulting Lynn and I, because she is pissed that she has competition. On top of that, she was planning on leaving the store if she didn't get the manager's position. Mind you, none of us are guaranteed the position. This sounds a bit childish to me if someone is going to quit because he or she does not get their way. Now, she is saying that I do not know how to train people (hello......I am a teacher for crying out loud) and talking about stuff that is supposed to be in my employee file. My employee file is supposed to be confidential, and can only been seen by the manager. This means that our former manager (Let's call her Jessica) has been telling Melissa things that are in my file and god knows what she knows from other people's files.

Now here is the kicker, Melissa was apparently talking about one of the things (that is supposed to be confidential in my file) on the floor of the store. Which royally pisses me off to know end. Lynn is the only person in the store that should know about the things, because I confided them to her. But, Melissa knowing them and blabbing them all over creation is a whole different matter.

My god she is acting worse than my 3 year old goddaughter. It is ridiculous.

If I survive this weekend it will be a miracle, since I am going to be basically running the store while Lynn is throwing one hell of a couples party for her friend, Val.

I will let you all know how it goes.

What is the Black Adder supposed to do?

It has been a little while since I have posted. So here is the lowdown......

I found out last week that my manager is leaving for the supposedly greener pastures. So, things are a little bit hectic with that concept. Melissa, a keyholder at the store, is applying for the position of manager even though she doesn't have any of the qualifications that the company is looking for. Lynn is willing to apply, which I think she would be phenominal at it, but I would hate for her to give up the classes that she is going to be teaching in the fall. I am going to apply for the hell of it, though I doubt tht they will be willing to pay me the money that I want. I am asking for what I make now as a teacher and working at the store combined. I figure that it would be nice to be able to work one job for a little while. We shall see though if it really pans out. I just hope that we don't get someone who is going to ruin that little shred of harmony that we have.

I am also dealing with the inner demons of bouts with depression. It is not like I am wanting to be thinking about the darker side of my life. It is really driving me crazy. I feel like I am going to fall into a pit of nothingness. My mind reels on the concept of death. What will happen to me? Is it like a light being flicked off? Am I really alone? I just can't stop thinking about it. It is messing with my creative flow, which is why the second draft of my book is still only 7000 words.

Wow, it is a bit late. So, I will get back to you later.